Los Angeles Times Pressmens 20 Year Club
Saturday, June 16, 2007
  Lost Relationship and Father's Day
This has been a difficult week for my husband, step-children and me. My father-in-law passed away suddenly after a short battle with cancer. Albert would have been 80 years old on September 7, 2007. The natural inclination is to think that he'd led a full life and this is, indeed, true. However my sadness comes from the fact that I'd only met him 18 months ago and we didn't have time to develop a real friendship. I can't help but wonder what it would have been like to spend family time with him and his lovely wife, Joyce. Albert was a hard worker all his life and I was curious about him from the time I met my husband.

When I was introduced to him in December of 2005, I was struck by how similar he was to his son, my husband Ray. They had been estranged for several years but had reconciled recently. I'm glad for that because in one of their last conversations my husband had told his father how much he loved him and Albert had expressed his love for Ray. I'm sure it's a memory my husband will carry with him forever.

I guess there is a lesson to be learned here. . .don't let yourselves get so embroiled in a quarrel that you lose sight of how fragile life is.

Happy Father's Day to all you dad's, step-dads and grandfathers! God bless you all and please remember to say a prayer for our troops.
 
Comments:
Jade,

I share those same sentiments! Especially, since my concerns are with the living. For those gone before us, I tried to make right in advance.

I savor any and all of my relationships, for each is a learning experience (good or bad).

May your husband take solice in knowing that he reconciled before the end and may you all be blessed.

Nubia
 
I look at the time of estrangement as something that's unquestionably regretful, but perhaps was necessary so that both sides could straighten things out within themselves.

Because it's never a matter of one or the other being completely wrong, it's both sides lacking perspective at that point in time.

If one does nothing but wish the other person well (in a spiritual way) while not speaking, then reconciliation will happen.

So the good thing is they both had the time to be apart, get their heads together and when they did see one another, they had a new understanding of what was important and reaffirmed their love.

I'm sorry for your loss. He did a good job raising your husband!
 
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